I want a fresh, original article that exists for one purpose only—pure entertainment. The piece should sit squarely in the humor genre and lean heavily on smart, biting sarcasm rather than slapstick or gentle parody. Picture something that could comfortably appear on The Onion, McSweeney’s, or Cracked: clever setups, sharp observations, and a steady stream of punch-lines that leave readers smiling at the absurdity of everyday life. Here’s what I’m looking for: a single, self-contained article that feels polished and publication-ready, free of filler, clichés, or recycled jokes. I’m open on length as long as every paragraph earns its place; somewhere in the mid-range (roughly 800–1,200 words) usually lets the humor breathe without overstaying its welcome, but I’ll let you judge what serves the material best. The final deliverable should arrive as a Google Doc or editable Word file, properly proofread, and completely original (I will run a plagiarism check). Pepper in cultural references or topical angles if they serve the comedy, yet keep the language accessible so readers outside niche circles still get the joke. If sarcasm is your second language and you can flip everyday scenarios into laugh-out-loud commentary, let’s get started.